Thursday, November 25, 2004

The Letter

I recently put this letter on my neighbor's front door:

Sunday November 07, 2004

Dear Neighbor in #6H,

I would greatly appreciate if you were to stop feeding the stray cats in our complex. I do love cats and have owned many indoor cats myself. However, the animals that are attracted to our doorsteps (as we share the same porch) are feral and bring with them diseases.

I have come home to find that a cat had vomited a pile of worms by my door that could not only harm any indoor animals we have, but ourselves as well. Also, I would rather not come home and walk into my cat free apartment only to have it smell like cat urine because the cats spray at my front door, and it wafts inside.

The cats often fight at our doors and leave behind their excrement that has to be cleaned away. I have had this happen on my back balcony as well. My camping chairs made great litter boxes for them.

I know you must set out food on your balcony as well as your front door. On any given day I can open my sliding glass door and see 5 to 10 cats scurry off your balcony and mine.

The only remedy I have for this is for you to stop feeding the stray cats. I would appreciate if you could do this.

Thank you for your time,
Melissa True #6G


I will admit that she has stopped putting cat food at her front door. However, she has now started to put it out on the sidewalk where I stand as I take my dog outside to do its business. (this is well out of the way of ANYONE'S building)

So, even though the cats no longer have food on our front porch they still hang out there. Also, I have noticed a horrible cat urine smell eminating from my car when I get into or out of it. They have began spraying on not only my tires, but also any car that is in our corner of the parking lot seems to get sprayed as well. I really think that the only thing left to do is to call the Humane Society and have them set traps.

UGH I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!

Fumbling In The Dark

Happy Turkey Day! Unfortunately it isn't much of a happy day for me. My thanksgiving luck comprised of a chocolate and cream honey bun, zingers, barbecue Lay's Stax, and a diet Coke. Yuck, I know. Walmart was just not an option for me. I didn't want to go through the trouble of finding a damn parking space, and sifting through all the crazed last minute thanksgiving shoppers. Instead, I went to the grand 'ol Circle K! Ha, Junkfood Galore, and not a healthy thing in sight!

Recently I broke up with my girlfriend. I did not do this because I do not love her. On the contrary, I have been trying to meet all her needs because I DO love her. Unfortunately my needs were not being met. I couldn't handle it after a month of being forgotten, and taken for granted. I know some of these feelings of mine were not known to her, she simply can't see, apparently, that I would have liked for her to spend the whole night with me after taking her to see a musical that she has wanted to see for years! (and she owns the soundtrack even). I would have liked that to be OUR night. We hadn't had a moment's peace one on one together in over a month. Things were wearing on me in this relationship of only 6 months. So I ended it the night of the musical.

This crushed me. I didn't want things to end, I just wanted things to get better. I wanted her to touch me again. I wanted her to take time out just for us; just for a relationship that needed some mending. I wanted nothing more than her affection. It took her a few days for it to sink in that I wasn't breaking up with her to hurt her. I was doing so because I was hurting everyday. What is worse, being lonely because you are not in a relationship and long for one, or being lonely while in a relationship and longing for that person?

I thought long and hard about all this. I still wanted her. I still loved her. I didn't want things to end (I never did). I just wanted to figure out what needed to happen for it to work between us. One thing that came to mind was realizing that if I were to ever get back into a relationship with her I had to know that I was not going to put myself back into a position that made me feel obligated. Then I realized that if my needs were getting met then those things I once considered obligations would be done without a second thought because I would feel secure in the relationship.

Here we are after a week and a half. We have spent the night at eachother's places almost every night since we had the last discussion. Her demeanor towards me has drastically improved. She had said she wanted a chance to show me that she can be what I need her to be to me. Since this has happened I am completely understanding of her demanding job and schedule. I never hated her job. I hated how she was when we DID get to see eachother (watching TV - wrestling or soaps, her favorite shows - on separate ends of the couch).

Last night she stopped by for only 5 min because she had a million things to do before leaving for her dad's house an hour and a half away. But those 5 min were great because she came in with her brother, gave me a huge hug, lots of kisses, and those wonderful eyes looked right into mine and I could see in them that she wanted me, and wanted more time with me. She told me she missed me as we kissed, and we exchanged our love for each other. She had to run to the bathroom quickly, and then her brother (whom I hadn't seen in over a week), gave me a big hug and said that he had missed me. Of course as an almost 17yr old would do, he then proceeded to tell me that he "got some" and from the girl we had talked about him trying to hook up with. In trying to describe his telling of the story I get lost in his hip thrusting movements, and zany giggling as he is so excited that he got some, he makes no comprehensible sense when he speaks, his body language speaks (loudly) for itself! He had me in stitches, as is usual for him to do. He really should be a stand up comedian.

So, here I am on Thanksgiving day, typing in this scattered journal, alone in my apartment with my dog. I have a clients at 2pm and 3pm so far today. Why must we be open on freaking holidays??? It kills me. I always seem to get stuck working them because they do not usually fall on my days off, or policy changes before they come up so that I get shafted yet again. The last 2 years so far have been horrible for me on the holidays (thus is the reason for me going back to college and getting my degree in computer science where jobs usually in this field observe most holidays!)

I don't know yet what the future holds for (what name did I call her by before? Lynn I think, yeah that's it) Lynn and I, but I am willing to let her show me that she is capable of meeting my needs, and that she can express to me exactly what she needs from me as well so I am no longer just fumbling in the dark.

Ha The Grinch!

I recieved this in an email. It almost made me cry because it seems to be so true.

The authors of this little piece of work have given their permission
to everyone to copy this anywhere, just so long as credit is given.

How the Grinch Stole Marriage
by Mary Ann Horton, Lisa and Bill Koontz

(with apologies to Dr. Seuss.)

Every Gay down in Gayville liked Gay Marriage a lot...
But the Grinch, who lived just east of Gayville, did NOT!!

The Grinch hated happy Gays! The whole Marriage season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, his Florsheims were too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all was
His heart and his brain were two sizes too small.

"And they're buying their tuxes!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow's the first Gay Wedding! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Gay Marriage from coming!"

For, tomorrow, he knew...All the Gay girls and boys
would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their vows!
And then! Oh, the Joys! Oh, the Joys!

And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Gay down in Gayville the tall and the small,
would stand close together, all happy and blissing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Gays would start kissing!

"I MUST stop Gay Marriage from coming! ...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he went to his closet, grabbed his sheet and his hood.
And he chuckled, and clucked, with a great Grinchy word!
"With this beard and this cross, I look just like our Lord!"

"All I need is a Scripture..." The Grinch looked around.
But, true Scripture is scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said,
"With no Scripture on Marriage, I'll fake one instead!"
"It's one man and one woman," the Grinch falsely said.

Then he broke in the courthouse. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Georgie could do it, then so could the Grinch.
The little Gay benefits hung in a row.
"These bennies," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most uncanny,
around the whole room, and he took every benny!
Health care for partners! Doctors for kiddies!
Tax rights! Adoptions! Pensions and Wills!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, with a chill,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, in his bill.
Then he slunk to the kitchen, and stole Wedding Cake.
He cleaned out that icebox and made it look straight.
He took the Gay-bar keys! He took the Gay Flag.
Why, that Grinch even took their last Gay birdseed bag!

"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will pocket their Rings."
And the Grinch grabbed the Rings, and he started to shove
when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and off flew his hood.
Little Lisa-Bi Gay behind him sadly stood.
The Grinch had been caught by small Lisa-Bi.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "My, oh, my, why?"
"Why are you taking our Wedding Rings? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Shepherd sneered,
"The judges are evil, the other states weird."
"I'll fix the rings there and I'll bring them back here."

It was quarter past dawn...All the Gays, still a-bed,
all the Gays still a-snooze when he packed up and fled.
"Pooh-Pooh to the Gays!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now no Gay Marriage is coming!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
then the Gays down in Gayville will all cry Boo-Hoo!"

He stared down at Gayville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Gay down in Gayville, the tall and the small,
was kissing! Without any bennies at all!
He HADN'T stopped Marriage from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came without lawyers, no papers to sort!"
"It came without licenses, came without courts!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Marriage," he thought, "doesn't come fro m the court.
Maybe Marriage...perhaps...comes right from the heart.
Maybe Marriage comes from all the words the Gays say.
Words like Husband, like Wedding, and Spouse who is Gay."
And what happened then...? Well...in Gayville they say
that the Grinch's small brain grew three sizes that day!

And the Gays had their Weddings. They promised for life.
They swore to be faithful, to Wife and her Wife.
The Husbands were happy, to each other they vowed
To be Out and be Honest, be Gay and be Proud.
They told all their neighbors and friends of their Spouse,
They told of their Marriage and sharing their house.
They said "We got Married." They shouted it loud.
Their marital status was "Married and Proud."

And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light.
And he brought back the rings, cake and Gay birdseed bags!
And he...HE HIMSELF...hung the Gay Rainbow Flag!

The Lord looked down, at the proud and the tall,
and said "These are my children, and I love them all."

****************************

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