Sunday, January 23, 2005

Lonely

The Blower's Daughter

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind... my mind...
'Til I find somebody new


What a profound movie This was. Closer Was an amazingly raw, adulterous, vulgar, sexual movie without any actual sex scenes to see. It leaves so much to the imagination that the dialogue alone tempts you to wonder if any of this could ever be real. It is SO real. The reality of losing someone to another person, the reality of cheating, the reality of sex, the disgust of sex in its raunchiest forms. Dark dark dark. The tension of this movie seems to loom over you while feeling everything the characters feel even when you may have never had a sense of their troubles.

Meeting someone new, it is the one thing that can make you forget who you are even for a split second. Being closer is what I long for. My closeness is a need to be intimate, not having sex per say, just being well... close. I want kissing, teasing, holding, caressing, heavy breathing, bodies intertwined in fits of movement. I want to roll around in bed with someone that just knocks me dead. I become flushed just thinking about it. Sex to me is an after effect.

I met someone recently. Some adorable female. A person whose chemistry matched mine, or so I thought. A couple of stolen kisses does not guarantee a future happening. It seems that this unfortunate encounter has only made me long for more. Not necessarily from her, but in general. I have been wanting and needing a closeness with someone that I guess has yet been undefined for me. I want to feel needed, I want to be able to need and be given to. I want to give in. I want to let go. I want to be free to do what I please in someone’s arms, between their legs, inside of them. I want to know what passion feels like again. I want.. I want... I want.. more. I want to find myself in a place where dreams do come true, and minds roam freely in surreal journeys that have no end. I want to make sense of it all because I know this is not making any sense.

I want to feel again. I don’t want to be with one person. I want to experience all that I can on this earth before succumbing to its infinities. what do I do? do I know? No. I do not. I do not know what the future holds for anyone. I just know that what my future needs. it needs a place to grow, a place to be appreciated, a place to feel loved, a place to be fucked, a place to be twisted, a place to roam, a place to feel secure, a place to be rich, a place to know what the rest will be.

It doesn't matter who it is right now. I don't care who would be in my arms as long as I have someone there. I need someone, some freshness, some sweetness, some passion. I need more of last night. I need more stolen kisses and goodbye lingering. I want more flirting, I want more hands touching mine, feeling each finger and caressing my palm with theirs. I want more dancing, I need more ..more.. more, closeness. More bodies entwined into mine, I want to feel more breath on my neck. More running of my fingers through long hair, gripping and releasing with each kiss. mmmmm I want someone to throw me against a wall and have their way with me, and yet request that in return. I want to enjoy myself.

I want to not be lonely.

2 comments:

Texas Gurl said...

Isn't that what we all want? :)

Tripp said...

I think you said it for most people on that.... SWEET !!! :0)

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