Wednesday, June 29, 2005

A Matter Of Time

I can honestly say that yesterday was full of craziness. I good friend of mine found herself practically homeless because her roommates decided to raise her rent an extra 50 and not give her any extra time to come up with it. Believe me, this woman has been running into roadblocks her whole life and she really didnt' need any money hungry little 21 year olds that can't keep up with their own finances (so they charge others more) bringing her down. THEN to top it all off, she caught the girl she had been seeing in a lie (she wasn't laying down in HER bed when she told my friend she was going to bed, she was at her other girlfriend's house apparently).

All this has happened only a day or so after she finds out that her mother (who is the guardian of her 14 and 12 yr olds) told the boys that she didn't want them anymore and their mom (my friend) didn't want them, so she was going to give them back to the state. Can you imagine what kind of trauma those boys must be enduring. The mental anguish alone is enough to make me cringe. The grandmother (my friend's mom Trisha) is one unstable cookie herself. The only reason the 14 yr old was born was because Trisha orchestrated the rape of her own daughter because her own tubes were tied and she wanted to have another child. So, my friend at 13 years old was raped, and had her first child at 14 because of that rape.

If it isn't one thing, it is another. I don't know what kind of lesson this is all supposed to be teaching her. Actually, if she stops looking at this as a negative thing, and turns it around into a positive, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

1.If her mom does decide to turn in the boys to the state, then my friend has a chance in getting them back (I am not even going into why the grandmother has them in the first place).
2. Because the people who she rents her little one room bungalow (in the backyard and she had to go to the main house for running water) decided to raise her rent and just basically push her out, she is now going to be staying with me in my apartment with all the running water and central air she can handle (she will have to sleep on the couch tho but I would trade that for what she had anyday AND my couch is REALLY comfy!)
3. Now she knows why the girl she was seeing would run hot and cold. Why she would be sweet to her one minute and completely rude to her the next (which my friend excused because she this girl manipulates well). She knows now that this girl isnt' worth her time.

Unfortunately it is #3 that is the most difficult for her to handle at this moment. When her heart strings are tugged like that, it is hard for her to recover. She knows that there are these positive things that will come from all the negative, but it is difficult for her to see the forest for the trees. She has a great group of friends that are rallying around her. There are plenty of support mechanisms for her to utilize. I know that, with our help, she will come out on top of all this. It is just a matter of time.

1 comment:

Tripp said...

well Mel, tell her to hang in there, my heart goes out to her, if either of you need anything call or IM me....

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